Being present, even without saying a word
When a friend is going through a hard time, do everything you can to show them that you're with them and that their suffering matters to you too.
"I've seen the power of simply being present in times of suffering," Elisabetta says. "When my best friend’s sister passed away, it wasn’t easy for me: I was seventeen and I'd never been that close to death before. I was afraid, but I told myself that I needed to be there for my friend, even if I didn’t know what to say. The pain was overwhelming. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to her or her family at the funeral — or even in the days that followed — but I think my presence showed her that I cared and that she wasn’t alone."
Making space to listen
Listening is a hallmark of genuine friendship. If we want to be instruments of genuine and selfless affection, and if we really want to touch another person's soul, we need to create space for listening.
"I have a friend who takes all our conversations very seriously," Francesco says. "This is something powerful because, when difficult moments arise, I know I have someone who is going to listen without immediately offering an opinion. He's not the kind of person who gives quick answers. He knows how to let my heart wander during our conversations. He helps me explore the situations that affect me. Talking to him allows me to see things from a more thoughtful perspective."
It takes courage to allow ourselves to wait, not to rush in with quick fixes. We needn't be intimidated by things we don’t understand: simply listening is already very valuable.
Does praying help people in pain?
When it comes to relationships, theory only goes so far. We could spend hours thinking of ways to help others, but when we're faced with real people and real suffering, we need to act. There's one simple but deeply effective tool that will always help our friends: prayer.
"A few years ago, I had to spend some time in the hospital," Enrico says. "My friends and family were close to me, and of course they visited me, but above all, they were with me through their prayers. I'll never forget when they told me they had even asked people I didn’t know to pray for me. It felt like an entire army was praying on my behalf. In the days that followed, I never felt alone, not even for a moment. This gave me incredible strength, and shortly afterward, I recovered. Only later did I connect the two things.
"I experienced the power of prayer another time a few summers ago. I was on holiday abroad with a group of friends when we heard that a young woman from our hometown was in a coma due to a rare illness, and there was no hope for her recovery. In such a situation, it’s normal to feel helpless and useless. But through prayer, we were really constantly by her side, giving her and her family real support. Now she is healthy and well. Believing this is a matter of personal freedom, but if you want my advice, start praying: you won’t be able to stop.”
