"Nobody suffers alone. Pedro was the one with cancer, but we all carried it." In the second installment of our interview with Javi Ballester, he tells us how the family has experienced and learned from Pedro's illness.
Transcript: My mother, at first, couldn't bear to see a Cross. It was difficult for her to see a Cross. She would say, "I don't understand, I don't understand so much suffering. Why?"
The day they did some X-rays, we went to a family dinner, and my mother knew he had a large spot on his pelvis. She first looked at my father, and they didn't make eye contact. She looked at Pedro, at Carlos, at me, and it seemed like she didn't connect with any of us. At that moment, she understood a bit that she wasn't going to find human consolation. She realized that the only consolation she would find would be from God. And she clung to God a lot and continues to do so.
Of course, for us, the day-to-day with Pedro was coming home from school, going into his room, and spending some time with him. One day, I came back from school, went into his room, and started to talk about my day. And he started crying and he said, "Javi, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore." And in those moments, what do you say?
In the end, no one suffers alone. Pedro was the one with cancer, but we all carried it with him. Pedro carried it, his family carried it, his family in Opus Dei carried it. I also felt that Pedro needed me to normalize the situation. Pedro wasn't just a patient; he wasn't just someone with cancer. Pedro was Pedro, who had cancer, but he wanted to be himself. He wanted to be normal.
One of my favorite pictures is from around 2 a.m. He couldn't sleep because of the pain, and I was with him. I told him, "Hey, Pedro, why don't we order a pizza?" He said yes, and we ordered a pizza, a burger and fries, chicken wings. There's a photo of him with the pizza, the burger, at 2 in the morning... Phenomenal.
Enjoying life. Sometimes you get so caught up in the illness, hospitals, and cancer that you forget that it's Pedro. Pedro is a normal person. And he loved his friends like that, first of all, with a lot of love, this love that he took from the strength of his “yes” and his relationship with God. It didn't matter who you were or what kind of person you were: he loved you. Whether you were 90 or 10 years old, he loved you, and people noticed that. Thanks to Pedro saying yes to everything, until the end, he had the strength to say he'd never been so happy, although it was hard, and although the people… In England, he was the only Catholic in his class. He was the first young numerary in England in a long time.
He didn't see any results. He didn't see the documentaries, he didn't see the book, he didn't see any of this. He just loved, he just loved his friends. He just said yes to his vocation and trusted in spiritual direction.
Pedro was the one who took care of us. We took care of him, but he made sure my mother was okay and could be by his side. With my father, it was the same. With me, he wouldn't let me clean him, and he encouraged me when I was sad. He was strong. He didn't despair. Pedro was a very normal person, but because he was so close to the Cross, so close to God, he had the strength to carry not only his cancer but all of us, his family, those at the center, and Opus Dei. And he died, but saying yes. That's how you can leave a mark. With all the influencers... That's how you can influence people. Trust. It's not logical, but it is worthwhile.