There are few things that have been praised and glorified in art and culture as much as the love between man and woman: from ancient myths like that of Orpheus and Eurydice, to novels like Alessandro Manzoni's The Betrothed and films like Casablanca. So too in Sacred Scripture, where we encounter wonderful love stories like that of Tobias and Sara. The Book of Tobit tells how the Archangel Raphael, in human disguise, is sent by God to help young Tobias find a spouse. What ensues is a journey full of difficulties and challenges, but eventually Tobias meets Sara, whom he marries, and they lead an exemplary and happy life together.
The Biblical marriage stories like that of Tobias and Sara are not only beautiful stories that have value on their own, but they are also part of the greatest and truest story ever told: that of the covenant of love that God makes with humanity through his son Jesus Christ. Starting with Adam and Eve, every marriage is a foreshadowing of the eternal wedding feast announced at the end of the Book of Apocalypse: Let us be glad and joyful and give glory to God, because this is the time for the marriage of the Lamb. (...) Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:7-9)
Marriage is the natural vocation to which man and woman are called. The Book of Genesis tells us that God recognized that it was right for man and woman to become one flesh and He commanded them to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it (Gen 1:28, 2:24). Actually, God counted on this to come to earth Himself, as Saint Matthew shows with the genealogy of Jesus (Mt 1).
For some people, however, God has a different plan. He invites them to renounce the wonderful good of marriage to follow Christ wherever He goes. He invites them to show with their lives that the bond with Jesus takes precedence over all other bonds, familiar or social. He invites them to follow Christ in a way of life of which He himself is the model.
The celibate vocation liberates the heart by God's grace to burn with the love of Christ. As Saint John Paul II wrote, the life of the celibate person testifies to "that pearl of great price which is preferred to every other value no matter how great, and hence must be sought as the only definitive value. It is for this reason that the Church, throughout her history, has always defended the superiority of this charism to that of marriage."1
In spite of having renounced physical fecundity, the celibate person is called to expand the heart with God’s love and to become a father and mother of many.2 He has the mission to give a good example of loving fidelity and to assist married people in their vocation. Celibacy ‘for the sake of the kingdom of Heaven’ shows where marriage is headed: the eternal love of Jesus Christ. This does not mean that marriage is meant for people who take their holiness less seriously or who are unable to truly follow Jesus. Marriage is a real vocation to holiness. Saint Josemaría often emphasized this, because it was not always understood: "There are still some people, though they are gradually disappearing, who undervalue married life, giving young people the impression that it is something the Church simply tolerates, as if marriage precluded any serious striving for sanctity."3
Marriage is a vocation that requires complete self-giving. It is aimed at a perfect union with Christ. Actually, the love between a man and a woman is a beautiful analogy of the supernatural relation of the soul with Christ.4 And marriage is also apostolic in itself; it is an essential instrument for evangelization: "How important it is for young people to see with their own eyes the love of Christ alive and present in the love of spouses, who testify by the reality of their lives that love forever is possible!"5
You may be in a phase of discernment of your vocation. I encourage you to be audacious and ask the Lord for light with an open heart. Do not be misled by mediocre and narrow-minded considerations and comparisons. Both marriage and celibacy require a complete embrace of the cross, and both – when we truly strive to become holy – bestow a joy that nothing on earth can match.
1 St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio (1981), no. 16
2 Ibidem.
3 St. Josemaría Escrivá, Conversations with Mgr. Escrivá de Balaguer: “Women in Social Life and in the Life of the Church”, no. 92.
4 Dietrich von Hildebrand, Man and Woman. Love and the Meaning of Intimacy (New Hampshire, 1992), pg. 4-5.
5 Pope Francis, Letter to married couples for the “Amoris Laetitia Family” (26.12.2021).
