Questions
1. Will I be happy? Can I be happy?
2. Do I have something to offer the world?
3. How do I know if God is calling me? How do I know what He’s calling me to?
4. What do I have to do to know what God wants from me?
5. Can I really do it? I know I’m flawed.
6. What if I make a mistake or change my mind?
7. Is God going to call me to something I’ve always been interested in?
8. What will the others think?
9. How long does it take to discern a vocation?
10. Can I say no to a vocation?
1. Will I be happy? Can I be happy?
You may have experienced problems or difficulties in your life, some of them extremely painful. Our own and others’ faults and errors – sin, in other words – make us unhappy. But the good news for believers is that God is committed to our happiness. That’s why we feel called to respond to Him; we can’t brush God off. He walks with you through all the chapters of your story. He’s able to heal your wounds and even make them meaningful so you can be very happy here on earth and later on, in Heaven. No matter how complicated your life gets, God will never abandon you. He’s already suffered everything for you (and with you) on the Cross so you can get to the happiness you’re seeking. This is something transformative, and we only experience it when we lean into God’s love for us.
2. Do I have something to offer the world?
We all want to make a unique and positive difference in the world, but let’s be honest: relying solely on our own strength, that dream sometimes feels tricky and unattainable. We can’t forget that God multiplies our small efforts.
If you ever feel discouraged, thinking that you are not achieving everything you would like, or that your life isn’t as perfect as it could be, remember what Jesus did with the loaves and the few fish a child gave him. All He asked for was what the boy had to give. God did the rest, and thousands of people were fed from that little bit of food. If you want to make a difference in the world, you need to discover your God-given talents and make them grow. How? By using them to serve others, like the good servants in the parable of the workers and talents.
The short answer is yes: you have a lot to offer the world, and, with God’s help, you’ll give incredible fruit.
3. How do I know if God is calling me? How do I know what He’s calling me to?
First of all, all men and women have a common vocation through Baptism. We could call it God’s “dream” for us: He wants us to be holy, to live our whole life in love in order to get to Heaven. St. Paul summed it up in his letter to the Thessalonians: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification" (1 Thess 4:3).
Then there are particular vocations, which are the unique and unrepeatable paths God has planned for each of us. It’s up to us to discover this particular vocation: a way of being, this husband or wife, the friends beside us… As we walk our path, we may hear, like Matthew (and so many others throughout history), Jesus’ voice saying, “Come, follow me,” specifying our baptismal vocation in a specific vocation of dedication to God in the priesthood, religious life, as a nun, as a consecrated person, in a vocation to Opus Dei... Our particular vocation has a lot to do with the first two questions, because it’s the way we find happiness with God on earth and become saints.
So how do you know if God is calling you? You’ll usually have a desire in your heart to give more to God and to do great things for Him. There’ll be this healthy restlessness in your soul, wanting to give more in your life, picking up on God’s loving presence that we have yet to see clearly and will need to discover. This is how St. Josemaría explained it: “If you ask me how we can discern the divine call, how a person recognizes it, I will tell you that it is a new vision of life. It is as though a light had been lit within us; it is a mysterious impulse which drives a person to dedicate his noblest energies to an activity that, over time, becomes the thing that defines us. This vital force, which is like a sweeping avalanche, is what others call ‘vocation’” (Letter 3, 9 January 1932, no. 9).
4. What do I have to do to know what God wants from me?
What is God telling me through these events and inspirations? Why do I have these desires in my heart? Why am I restless when the people around me aren’t? Why do You love me so much? How can I make good use of the gifts You’ve given me? These are some of the questions that might occur to you if you’re considering your vocation.
The first thing is sincere dialogue with God. There are two people in your vocation story: you and God. No one can tell you what your vocation is or what you should do. It’s a very personal decision. If you want to know what God wants, you need to talk to Him about your life and learn to listen to what He says.
Three things can help you move forward on this path: prayer, frequent reception of the sacraments, and seeking someone to accompany you in the vocational process, a person who can help you get to know yourself better and advise you on this path. Asking the Holy Spirit for light is another good way to start. You can pray, over and over: “Give me light to see and strength to want it!” Although the most fundamental piece of your vocation is God, He needs you to do your part. God wants friends who decide to follow Him with full freedom.
5. Can I really do it? I know I’m flawed.
One of the first things that may come to your mind when you think about vocation is to excuse yourself because you have flaws or because you know people who are better, stronger, and more virtuous than you. But don’t worry. God doesn’t choose people who are “prepared;” He prepares the people He chooses. He walks with you and He’s brought you to the point you’re at now. You can be sure that He’s not going to leave you alone if you decide to follow Him. Remember that God is your Father, and a father who loves his children madly cannot fail to help and care for you.
Of course, like any other Christian, you’ll have to struggle against your flaws your whole life long. Don’t be discouraged by that struggle, because holiness lies in it. It’s a constant, peaceful struggle to be like Jesus Christ, to be “other Christs” for others, as St. Josemaria taught. Once again, the means that can help you with this are frequent contact with God, the sacraments, and spiritual accompaniment.
And if you decide to follow Him but the future seems daunting, focus on living in the present, which is important and the only moment in our hands. Try to be holy today, to love God and others more on this day, because you don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
6. What if I make a mistake or change my mind?
They say that the path “is made by walking.” If you’ve responded to God’s call with a courageous “yes,” don’t be fooled into thinking that all the work is over. In every vocational journey there’s a process called discernment, which is a trial period in which you ponder whether the vocation you’re living is really what God wants for you.
Some people may leave the path during this discernment period. Think of it like dating, which doesn’t last forever: it’s time you spend discovering whether you want to marry this person, whether this is really your path. There’s no drama or betrayal in leaving a path started during this period, just as it’s not a failure to stop dating a person you realize you shouldn’t commit to marrying for life. Ultimately, your vocation is a means for you to be happy and holy: it is the name that God has given you, and that you must discover and live.
7. Is God going to call me to something I’ve always been interested in?
Sometimes God surprises you and encourages you to follow Him on a path you’ve never considered before. As they say, “if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” Undoubtedly, many priests or women living contemplative lives discovered a vocation that wasn’t part of their original plans.
Naturally, the call has to be to something that you find good and beautiful, that attracts you and makes you want to give your heart. It’s normal to feel a bit of vertigo or apprehension about taking a big step, but if you’re considering something that repels you and doesn’t bring you peace, it’s not what God wants for you. Remember that He is committed to your peace and happiness, and vocation is a means to that end.
8. What will the others think?
Not everyone will understand if you decide to give your life to God, but they don’t usually criticize your other decisions, even the big ones. Others’ opinions, hard as they may be to hear, shouldn’t condition your decision, which is a personal choice between you and God. And experience shows that many people who react badly or don’t understand your vocation at first later end up seeing the good in it.
In the Gospel, Jesus says, "Let the dead bury their dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God," and, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." He means that we can’t let others’ reactions influence our decision to follow Christ in our vocation.
9. How long does it take to discern a vocation?
God determines the timing of everything related to Himself. The first step is to calmly and honestly consider what God could be calling you to in prayer and spiritual accompaniment. If you have a sincere desire to serve Him, He won’t let that question go unanswered. If you want it, you see that it’s good, and there’s no obstacle to choosing it, why delay your decision?
You might be tempted to try other things first. But if you were in love with someone, would you need to meet other people before taking that step and getting married? Probably not. When you’re considering something your happiness is wrapped up in, don’t wait too long – though of course every case is different, and it’s helpful for someone who knows you well, such as your spiritual director, to advise you on what is best to do.
10. Can I say no to a vocation?
Freedom is a key piece in vocation. It’s not just about knowing what God wants, but about putting it into practice. As we said above, we can see whether something is our true vocation by living it. It’s the same logic as dating or courting someone, because without a closer, more stable relationship, you’ll never know whether the relationship could work in marriage.
God's call is more of an intuition that’s affirmed when you say yes and begin to walk the path. It is important for you to affirm it with your yes, like our Lady did with the archangel Gabriel in the Annunciation. You can say no to God. He has created us free to decide whether we want to follow Him or not, and so that, if we choose to respond to his call, we do so with the full freedom of love.
