“All I want to do is escape!” Just this morning one of my patients told me this. We were discussing how it feels to be re-entering some social situations that she had started avoiding. Going out with friends had become such a burden! It felt like she had to wear a mask in public, so others couldn’t see how she was doing.

It’s the nature of negative emotions to feel permanent. When we feel pain, part of us projects this indefinitely into the future, as if to alarm us into making the changes that need to be made.

The stronger an emotion is, the more permanent it “feels.” That’s why people can feel desperate to escape. And that’s why they can equate freedom with the ability to escape at will.

But freedom does not mean the ability to escape uncomfortable emotions. True freedom comes from growth in self-mastery. Accepting difficult emotions, especially when they’re strong and feel permanent, is a beautiful sign of true freedom.

As long as we struggle with our emotions, we’re not accepting them. Acceptance means being able to “drop” our struggle. It means choosing to be with a difficult emotion, rather than escaping from it.

Our ability to feel our emotions is an important part of who we are, and all of our emotions can have a place in the person we most want to become.

At a basic level, anxiety is what we experience when we see the hormone called adrenaline in a negative light.

But we can use adrenaline as a boost that helps us achieve our most important goals. Indeed, that’s why we have adrenaline: it’s the ultimate enhancer. As long as we welcome it, it boosts our ability to achieve our goals. Adrenaline brings out our best.

And so anxiety itself reflects the beauty of God’s providence and is redolent of the Cross. What once loomed over us like a permanent cloud — when we tried to escape it — becomes instead the source of new growth and vitality when we learn to embrace it.

Key ideas

• Emotions should not be a burden: they are part of us.
• Learning to master our emotions is a long process: be patient with yourself and with others.
• Emotions are not meant to be permanent: do not rely exclusively on them.
• Feeling anxious about some things is normal: welcome it as an energy enhancer to achieve your goals.
• Find enjoyable activities that help you orientate your energy and level of anxiety.
• Do not be afraid of consulting a specialist if your anxiety becomes an ordinary obstacle in your daily activities.