St. Josemaria: Tips For Getting Along

In his preaching, the "saint of ordinary life" often made small suggestions on how to get along with others. Here is a selection of his ideas that could help at this time.

“Charity does not consist so much in 'giving' as in 'understanding'. Therefore, seek an excuse for your neighbour — there is always one be found, — if it is your duty to judge.” The Way, 463

“Husband and wife are called to sanctify their married life and to sanctify themselves in it... They will achieve this aim by exercising the virtues of faith and hope, facing serenely all the great and small problems which confront any family, and persevering in the love and enthusiasm with which they fulfil their duties. In this way they practice the virtue of charity in all things. They learn to smile and forget about themselves in order to pay attention to others. Husband and wife will listen to each other and to their children, showing them that they are really loved and understood. They will forget about the unimportant little frictions that selfishness could magnify out of proportion. They will do lovingly all the small acts of service that make up their daily life together." Christ is Passing By, 23

"He who thinks that love ends when sorrows and setbacks begin — when life always includes these — has a poor concept of marriage, which is a sacrament, an ideal and a vocation. That is precisely when affection should grow. Streams of sorrow and setbacks are not capable of overwhelming true love: a sacrifice generously shared unites further... Since we are human, of course you can quarrel; but little. And then, the two have to admit that they are to blame, and say to each other: forgive me!, give each other a good hug… And move on!" (Notes taken in a get together, 4 June 1974)

"Husband and wife mustn't forget that the secret of married happiness lies in everyday things, not in daydreams. It lies in finding the hidden joy of coming home in the evening, in affectionate relations with their children, in the everyday work in which the whole family cooperates; in good humour in the face of difficulties that should be met with a sporting spirit; in making the best use of all the advantages that civilisation offers to help us rear children, to make the house pleasant and life more simple." Conversations with Mons. Escrivá, 91

"You have to live in harmony with your fellow men and understand them as a brother would. As one Spanish mystic says, where there is no love, put love and you will find love." Forge, 457

"Do not force them to do anything, but let them see you pray: it is what I have seen my parents do, and it has remained in my heart. So when your children reach my age, they will fondly remember their mother and father, who forced them only by example, with a smile, and giving them the doctrine when it was convenient, without giving them a bad time."(Get-together, 28 October 1972)

"A disciple of Christ will never treat anyone badly. Error he will call error, but the person in error he will correct with kindliness. Otherwise he will not be able to help him, to sanctify him. We must learn to live together, to understand one another, to make allowances, to be brotherly and, at all times, in the words of St John of the Cross, 'where there is no love, put love and you will find love'; and we have to do this even in the apparently uninspiring circumstances that arise in our professional work or in our domestic and social life. You and I must therefore seek to make use of even the most trifling opportunities that come our way, to sanctify them, to sanctify ourselves and to sanctify those who share with us the same daily cares, sensing in our lives the sweet and inspiring burden of the work of co-redemption." Friends of God, 9

"Force yourself, if necessary, always to forgive those who offend you, from the very first moment. For the greatest injury or offence that you can suffer from them is as nothing compared with what God has pardoned you." The Way, 452