Originally from Barcelona, Blanca has lived in Germany for years. She works at a consulting firm specializing in digitalization and change management. She also directs a student residence hall and helps with the human and spiritual formation of young people. As a teenager, she sensed a call to live celibacy within Opus Dei. On EWTN's "Gott erlebt" ("Experiencing God"), she describes how she discovered this path, the fears she had to overcome, and what it means for her, as a woman, to give her whole life to God. The following is an abridged translation of the interview.
You can watch the interview in German, or with automatic English dubbing, here.
Blanca, your name doesn't sound very German. Tell us about yourself.
I'm from Spain, from Barcelona, and I grew up in a Catholic family. I'm the second oldest of eight siblings. We all grew up surrounded by faith, but there came a point when I had to discover it for myself. At first, faith was simply something I'd been given.
How did that personal discovery come about?
The difficulties started in my teenage years. Everything sounded like an obligation: "I have to go to Mass on Sundays," "I have to behave." I felt less free, and I'll admit I looked at people who seemed to have fewer restrictions with a bit of envy. But little by little I went deeper into my faith, and above all, I began discovering what believing really means. I came to know Jesus Christ. For me, faith stopped being an idea and became a person. It took on a face; it became someone I could talk to, someone I could share my desires, hopes, and plans with — as well as whatever made me sad or angry. That's how I came to understand, more and more, what it really means to be a daughter of God, and how much He loves me. Faith began to give my life meaning and weight.
And the call to live celibacy followed?
Yes, there came a moment when I sensed that the Lord wanted me very close to Him, that He was calling me down this path: to celibacy, in Opus Dei, as a numerary. At first it frightened me a great deal. On one hand, it drew me in, because I'd met people who lived this way and it struck me as beautiful and appealing. On the other, it scared me, because I knew it was a path that isn't well understood, sometimes marked by prejudice, and not something everyone accepts. I knew I'd run into resistance; not everyone would be happy for me. And I had other plans for my life too. But in prayer I came to understand: "Lord, if You've given me everything (everything that makes me happy: a wonderful family, many friends, everything I need), how can I not trust that this life You're offering me will make me happy too?" And that's exactly how it's turned out.
You mentioned Opus Dei. What is it? Are there many women who live celibacy on this path?
Opus Dei is a reality within the Catholic Church, present all over the world. Its central message is to seek and find God in the most everyday situations: in study, at work, within the family, with friends, at celebrations, in hobbies, in everything a person does, always with God at the center. The vast majority of its members are married. A minority of us live celibacy. As a teenager I used to go to youth activities organized by members of Opus Dei, and that's where I first met women who had chosen this path.
Is there anyone else in your family who lives celibacy? How did your parents react?
No, not in my family. My parents were surprised, they weren't expecting it, but they were happy for me. They understood, gave me a great deal of freedom on this path, and also pushed me to really think it through. They never made it hard for me, but they'd say: "Think it over carefully, test it out. We support you."
How did you end up in Germany?
I'd already spent time in Germany as a teenager, since I studied German in school and wanted to improve my language skills. I fell a little in love with the country; its mindset, its culture. I also had a desire to go to a country with fewer Catholics. That really drew me. There are few Opus Dei members here, and I thought I might be able to contribute something. So I threw myself into the adventure.
You studied here. What do you do for work?
I studied food management. I've worked in a number of different fields: in hospitality and hotel management, and later on the leadership team of Opus Dei in Germany, where I was in charge of work with youth. Right now I direct a student residence hall and work as a consultant, putting in a 40-hour week.
Where do you find the time for so much volunteer work on top of all that?
I have a 40-hour job, but there are more hours in the day, the week, and the weekend. Since I don't have children of my own, I have more time to devote to other activities, and above all to other people, to be with them and walk alongside them.
What, or who, lights you up the most?
People. I treasure every moment I get to spend with others, especially with young people, and also with my friends: people I can walk alongside and support, with whom I can have deep conversations about life, meaning, and what sustains us. I'm fascinated by witnessing how God works in people's lives. That's what gives me energy. I see how creative God is, how He comes out to meet us right where we are, and how different the paths can be that lead people to Him. And it's a real joy for me that He can work through me: that I can lend Him my hands, my voice, my whole self, so that He can act through me, if He chooses to.
Earlier you mentioned being afraid of what others might think. How did you get past that?
It's a process of maturing that each person has to go through. Sooner or later, everyone realizes: I want to live my own life, not the one others have planned for me. If we let ourselves be guided only by what other people think, we can't accomplish very much. I saw that clearly, and that's what gave me the courage to live this way. There's a specific moment when you see your path, your vocation, your own mission. But it's also a daily decision and an ongoing effort, like a friendship or any relationship: a continual deepening of who I am, what I want, what I long for, what makes my heart come alive, who God is, who Christ is for me. You make mistakes along the way, questions and doubts come up. And it's precisely through contact with other ways of life that you're constantly challenged and, at the same time, strengthened in your own path.
Someone might say all of this could also be lived out in marriage. You chose celibacy consciously. What moved you to do that?
That's one of my favorite subjects, along with what it means to be a woman. I asked myself: "Am I losing something of myself if I never become a biological mother? Does that make me less of a woman? Am I missing out on some part of happiness? Am I losing the possibility of being fully happy?" That question stayed with me for a long time. I talked to a lot of people, read a lot, and drew inspiration from many people's lives. That's how I came to understand that there are two ways of being bodily present in this world, of living, acting, working, loving. The body isn't something you wear, like a ring; my body is me. I act and love continuously through my body: when I talk with you, when I listen, when I hug someone, when I grow tired from work, when I write, when I make a phone call, when I meet up with people. We communicate and love bodily all the time. And men and women are present in the world in different ways, and can love in different ways. In celibacy, that looks different than it does in marriage.
So how do you live out this gift of self as a woman?
I give myself just as completely, with my whole bodily self, but not exclusively within one close, intimate relationship with a partner. In exchange, I have the chance for many more people to be part of my life, and for me to be part of theirs. I'm not the mother of just a few children; I'm a mother to many people. People speak of a spiritual motherhood. Personally, I prefer to say: "I'm a sister to you, a friend, a coworker." But in a particular way, the way women act and are present, through their capacity to welcome others, to care for them. I carry people's worries, desires, and concerns with me; I'm there for them, I walk with them, I encourage them. I can do this because I live celibacy, because I can be very close to God and available to so many people. Some are only in my life for a short while; others, for a lifetime. And I'm constantly enriched by seeing God at work in so many people. I see how that search for God truly sets people free and makes them genuinely happy. For me, it's a privilege to be able to accompany people through the very same questions I once faced myself.
You work with young people now. How do they respond to your way of life?
It surprises them, of course. Since it's a way of life you rarely see out in public, people immediately connect it to a question: "You're living without getting married... Are you a nun? Why aren't you in a convent?" At first there's a lack of understanding, lots of questions. But through everyday interaction, through the friendships that form, it starts to feel closer and easier to understand. I think in the end, people do come to understand it. But the first reaction is usually, "Wow, I wasn't expecting that, I didn't know this existed, it doesn't quite add up for me."
Are young people today open to this, at a time when there's so much debate about identity and gender?
I sense a real longing to find one's own identity. Lots of questions, and a lot of confusion too. For those who are further along in their faith, my life makes more sense to them, and I see that the question of giving oneself to God is very much alive in many of them. Some things need to be understood first: who God is, who Jesus is. But I see real openness, and a lot of searching.
How do you deal with doubts or difficult moments?
Fortunately, I'm not alone. Of course, in the end, you have to wrestle with your own questions in solitude too. But I've found, time and again, that everything I bring before God — when I tell Him I can't take it anymore, that I feel insecure, that I'm afraid — finds an answer. Maybe not right away, but through other people I come to realize it does make sense. That's why I trust God, I share everything with Him, and I know that, sooner or later, an answer will come. And I can count on people who ask me hard questions, who give me advice, who help me.
Is your celibacy tied to Opus Dei specifically? Is there some kind of consecration involved?
There's no consecration; it isn't bound to any special rite. Nothing would stop me from living celibacy on my own if I wanted to. But it makes sense to live it together with others. In Opus Dei, you live out a particular spirituality, you share the vocation with others, you find strength in one another, and together you search for answers to the same questions. For me personally, living this way makes a great deal of sense. In Opus Dei, celibacy isn't tied to a consecration, because we want to live out (and emphasize) this reality of being Christians in the middle of the world. Baptism is our mark of identity. Through baptism you belong to God's family; you're a daughter of God; you resemble Him, you can reflect Him: His goodness, His strength, everything that He is. You don't need any additional mark. Baptism is enough.
What does your life of prayer look like?
It draws on the richness of the Church; there's nothing new about it. Deep union with the Lord. The gift of celibacy can't be sustained unless you stay very close to the Lord, anchored in God, precisely because it's a relationship of love.
That's why daily Mass is part of my life. It's the moment, above all others, when I'm fully united with God. Daily prayer too: talking with Him about my questions, worries, dreams, and desires, about our plans, about who God is and who Jesus is for me. And a deep love for the Mother of God. Those are the pillars.
What's life in community like?
Opus Dei is a family. I live in a center with other people who also live celibacy. The rest of the people in Opus Dei live with their own immediate families. But we're all connected, and what unites us is something far beyond those walls: a shared vocation, a shared way of living it out day to day. We see each other often, at activities, gatherings, birthdays; we share the same mission. That's how we look after our relationships and our communion with one another.
Do you have plans or hopes for the future?
Right now I live in a rather unusual place: a student residence. We cross paths with students who aren't necessarily believers, young people from different countries, of different religions or none at all. It's a really beautiful kind of life together; we're constantly in contact with people unlike ourselves: them with believers, us with non-believers. That encounter is deeply enriching. You find yourself asking new questions all the time: why does this person think this way? Why does she act like that? Some really beautiful conversations come out of it, and both sides come away enriched. I don't know if this counts as a plan, but I'd like for us to keep living this way in the world: able to show people a bit of the light of Christ, and to let them show us something of themselves too, enriching and strengthening one another.
Who should someone reach out to if they want to learn more about this way of life?
They're welcome to come see me. They can visit an Opus Dei center. Or, if not, they can get in touch through the official Opus Dei website, which will put them in contact with the right person. And for anyone nearby: the student residence is at Aachener Straße 608. I live there, along with a few others. We'd be delighted to put people in touch.