We start to understand this commandment when we think about God's designs: He wants his love to get to us through the people who gave us life on this earth; and He wants us to return the love the same way. All ten commandments come down to the love of God, but that love has different faces. Our parents' faces are probably the first ones we recognise in our own lives.

We can also understand the commandment when we think about our personal experience. Our lives are more meaningful where we know that we're valued for who we are, not what we have, provide, or achieve. We find this appreciation first and foremost in our parents.

To honour someone means to respect them, recognising and responding to their dignity as a person. So why should we respect our parents?

First of all, as children, our parents' dignity is unique. We can never sufficiently repay them for the gift of life, which God has given us through them. And we could also add that they've made sacrifices in order to bring us into this world. They raised and educated us so we could grow into responsible people.

Your family situation may have been less than ideal. Maybe you or your friends have suffered violence, lack of love, separation from loved ones, etc. Pope Francis points out that the fourth commandment "does not speak of parents' goodness; it doesn't ask that fathers and mothers be perfect. It speaks of an act of the children, regardless of their parents' merits, and says something extraordinary and liberating: even if not all parents are good and not all childhoods are peaceful, all children can be happy, because achieving a full and happy life depends on just recognition towards those who brought us into the world [...] Many saints — and very many Christians — after a painful childhood, have lived luminous lives, because, thanks to Jesus Christ, they have been reconciled with life" (Pope Francis, General Audience, 19 September 2018).

In a broad sense, this commandment covers all relationships in the family, summarised in the term "honour," or respect, which, again, means treating each person as their personal dignity requires.

The way parents and children treat each other has taken many different forms in various cultures, but always includes respect and obedience. When parents grow old or become ill, adult children must repay what they received from them with all the material and emotional help possible: "My child, help your father in his old age" (Sir 3:14). Abandoning them to their fate, for example, in a poor-quality care home, and making minimal visits out of selfishness or convenience, is not the act of a good child.

The main duties of parents towards their children are, first, material care: food, clothing, shelter and medical attention, if needed. Then, parents have a duty to educate their children to make them good citizens and Christians. They also have a responsibility to create a home, a family space where love, forgiveness, respect, faithfulness and selfless service can be learned and experiences. Such a home is the most appropriate and natural environment for children (and everyone in it) to grow in virtues and values.

When we believe in God's love, these duties are pleasant. St. Josemaria called them a "sweet precept."

The fourth commandment is linked to other relationships in society. St. John Paul II said: "As the family is, so is the nation, so is man" (Saint John Paul II, 8-VI-1979). Put another way, when this commandment is lived out, families gets better and society gets better. Faithfulness to the commitment of love within the family and respect for life are values that are instilled and developed in the love between parents and children. These values undoubtedly improve society and improve any human being.

Pope Francis explained that this commandment ensures honour in society: "The virtuous bond between generations is a guarantee of the future, and is a guarantee of a truly human history. A society of children who do not honour their parents is a society without honour; when parents are not honoured, one loses one's own honour" (Pope Francis, General Audience, 11 January 2015). And conversely, a society of children who honour their parents is a society with honour.

Finally, "God's fourth commandment also orders us to honour all those who, for our good, have received authority from God in society. This commandment determines both the duties of those who exercise authority and those of those who are subject to it" (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2234), always with a view to the common good.