Some time ago, I ran into a good friend at a birthday party. It was a few months before he was to marry his girlfriend. He was telling how he was preparing for that special event and shared something that moved me: “I have discovered that the person I most need to love is not my future wife, but Christ.” His love for his wife is essential, but love of God is still superior.
Each person walks a unique path on earth. Some are called to marriage and others to a celibate life. Some live according to a specific charism, others according to another. But for every path to holiness, Christ is the final goal. We were created for God's love. He yearns to have a personal intimate relationship with each of us, like He said through the prophet Isaiah: And now, thus says Yahweh, He who created you, Jacob, who formed you, Israel: Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are mine.[1]
This desire of God is so strong that He is not satisfied with just something or with only certain aspects of your life. He wants to fill every aspect of your existence with His Love. He wants to meet you everywhere: in your everyday activities, in each of your relationships and in the intimacy of your heart. He wants to be so united with you as He was with St. Paul when the apostle exclaimed: Yet it is no longer I, but Christ living in me.[2]
Perhaps this comes across as lofty mysticism for some chosen souls, but as a matter of fact this is your calling and it is absolutely worth it. Nothing on earth will make you happier and make you enjoy life more than when you open the doors of your heart wide to the loving desire of God. Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and He gives you everything, said Pope Benedict XVI to young people at the beginning of his pontificate.[3]
God invites you to fully desire true love and, therefore, you need to purify your desires: The spiritual path is not a way of negation but an education of desire: progressively learning to leave superficial desires behind in order to let the deepest desire emerge, the one that carries the call addressed to us by God.[4] The paradox is precisely that we often lack the very courage and audacity to actually desire for true love. C. S. Lewis puts it very aptly: Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak (...). We are far too easily pleased.[5]
In the Christian life, there is no dichotomy between the happy life and the moral life, as if you had to choose between the two. Hence, Saint Josemaría claimed that heaven is for those who know how to be happy on earth.[6] The saints are brave and audacious enough not to limit their desires to something transient or superficial. They choose true joy. The friend I spoke of earlier not only had the desire to love his future wife very much, but also to discover the face of Christ in her. By accepting this holy challenge, their married love can be even more powerful. It will be a great source of grace for their marriage and for everyone around them, as the love of Christ expands the heart.
I encourage you to turn to God in the silence of prayer and ask Him: “Lord, I want to discover my deepest and most authentic desires, the ones that come from You. I want to taste real joy. I want to yearn for your Love as You yearn for mine. Let your light shine in my heart and show me how!”
[1] Book of Isaiah: 43,1.
[2] Letter to the Galatians: 2,20.
[3] Homily of Pope Benedict XVI (St. Peter's Square, 24.4.2005).
[4] Jacques Philippe, Called to Life (New York, 2008), chapter 5.
[5] C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, Sermon in the Church of St Mary the Virgin (Oxford, 8.6.1942).
[6] St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, n. 1005.
